1 00:00:04,940 --> 00:00:08,980 The reason I left was because I had to go talk to Donna to tell her that I 2 00:00:08,980 --> 00:00:11,560 see her anymore because there's something I have to do. What? 3 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:12,960 This. 4 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:19,400 Homer, something brought me from the dirt today. 5 00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:24,500 A presence, most evil. Although you know me as a hardworking publicist, I am in 6 00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:27,520 fact Elias Woodstone, an emissary for the devil. 7 00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:32,000 No. When you signed the contract to hire me... In exchange for making your 8 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,520 dreams come true, I secured your soul for Satan. 9 00:00:34,740 --> 00:00:39,200 What's important for you is to relax and enjoy what little time you have left to 10 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,200 live. Look out! 11 00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:46,880 Rats. Thought I'd get them on the first try. Oh, well. 12 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:48,660 See you soon. 13 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:53,720 Sam! I'm afraid to use the toaster. I can't live like this. 14 00:00:57,320 --> 00:01:01,260 I know Elias showed up and revealed that he had tricked Jay into selling his 15 00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:05,900 soul and is now actively trying to kill him, but it was a lovely book launch 16 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,120 party. True. 17 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,120 It'll be pretty bitchin' as one of Jay's last memories. 18 00:01:10,380 --> 00:01:12,500 How is Jay doing today, Samantha? 19 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:13,760 Still on edge? 20 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:18,120 Yes. We're both on edge. An emissary of the devil is trying to kill my husband 21 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:21,140 and drag him to hell, so we're on high alert, okay? It's DEFCON 5. 22 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,420 Well, actually, DEFCON 1 is the most dangerous. 23 00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:24,700 Not now, Pete. 24 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:25,880 Sam? 25 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,680 Did the bubble wrap I ordered arrive? 26 00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:31,840 I'm going to need you to wrap me up, babe. Poor Jay. 27 00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:35,860 An eternity in hell. I know what that's like. I want to spend a weekend in 28 00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:36,860 Boston. 29 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,860 Jay, I don't think this is going to cut it. We need a better solution than 30 00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:43,400 hockey pads and some bubble wrap. 31 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:45,920 You're thinking I should put on my stormtrooper armor? 32 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:50,520 I wish I had Mithril, which, as you know, protected Frodo from an orc spear 33 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,220 the Mines of Moria. Oh, I see. He's intent. 34 00:01:53,550 --> 00:01:56,970 trying to shrivel your desire for him in order to make his upcoming absence more 35 00:01:56,970 --> 00:01:57,970 bearable for you. 36 00:01:58,330 --> 00:01:59,268 That's thoughtful. 37 00:01:59,270 --> 00:02:02,690 I don't think the answer is that we just keep evading attempts on your life. We 38 00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:05,750 need to figure out how to get you out of this deal. How are Jay's fiddling 39 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:06,750 skills? 40 00:02:07,470 --> 00:02:10,130 Did people not get the reference, the devil went down to Georgia? 41 00:02:10,370 --> 00:02:11,390 It's a phenomenal song. 42 00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:13,250 What are you talking about? Oh, come on. 43 00:02:13,770 --> 00:02:16,750 The devil went down to Georgia. He was looking for a soul to steal. 44 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,750 And he was in a bind because he was way behind and he was willing to make a 45 00:02:19,750 --> 00:02:24,050 deal. When he came across a young man sawn on a fiddle and playing it hot. So 46 00:02:24,050 --> 00:02:26,510 hopped up on a hickory stump and said, boy, let me tell you what. 47 00:02:26,850 --> 00:02:28,710 What's going on? Are the ghosts concerned for me? 48 00:02:29,330 --> 00:02:30,129 Uh -huh. 49 00:02:30,130 --> 00:02:31,750 Fire on the mountain, run, boys, run. 50 00:02:32,010 --> 00:02:35,330 Devil of the house and the rising sun. 51 00:02:37,010 --> 00:02:39,410 Are you tapping your toe? 52 00:02:39,950 --> 00:02:41,190 Why are you tapping your toe? 53 00:02:41,490 --> 00:02:42,490 It's just a nervous tick. 54 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,300 We're all nervous, Jay. 55 00:02:45,140 --> 00:02:46,140 Thank you, guys. 56 00:02:58,100 --> 00:02:59,240 What's going on here? 57 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:03,840 Small man fixing ghost trap in quixotic bed to circumvent evil devil. 58 00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:06,860 If you're wondering about all the big words, Sam got a word of the day 59 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:08,460 and Thor's been following along. 60 00:03:08,820 --> 00:03:11,440 Thor never skipped day. Thor very ambidextrous. 61 00:03:11,950 --> 00:03:15,690 He doesn't always nail it. Jay, I was thinking maybe we should start pureeing 62 00:03:15,690 --> 00:03:18,830 all your food. You know, cut down on choking hazards while we're figuring out 63 00:03:18,830 --> 00:03:19,830 this whole Elias thing. 64 00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:21,770 Wait, what are you doing? 65 00:03:22,030 --> 00:03:25,190 Well, you know, I was thinking about what you said, and I can't keep worrying 66 00:03:25,190 --> 00:03:30,230 about Elias trying to kill me, so I've come up with a plan. And it is nuts. 67 00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:32,290 I got in touch with Yanis. 68 00:03:32,550 --> 00:03:35,850 The Latvian ghost trap repairman. And he talked me through how to fix the ghost 69 00:03:35,850 --> 00:03:39,310 trap. If I live, we're having pierogies with him and his mom next week. 70 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:43,940 Cool. Anyways, the plan is, if Elias kills me in the few seconds I have 71 00:03:43,940 --> 00:03:47,560 he drags my soul to hell, I'm just gonna touch the ghost trap and get sucked 72 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:51,060 right on in. So in this scenario, you're still dead, but instead of going to 73 00:03:51,060 --> 00:03:52,840 hell, you're just stuck in a little box for eternity? 74 00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:56,320 No, just until you guys figure out a way to extricate me from the devil's 75 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,140 bargain. Ask him about the tiny furniture. 76 00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,480 It's crazy. 77 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:00,940 And the tiny doll furniture? 78 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,060 Well, I might be in there for a while, and I thought I might as well be 79 00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:07,540 comfortable. It actually doesn't cost much to live a luxurious doll's life. 80 00:04:07,740 --> 00:04:08,980 He's lost it. 81 00:04:09,530 --> 00:04:10,530 And check this out. 82 00:04:11,490 --> 00:04:14,670 Huh? You never let me have one of those in real big life. 83 00:04:14,910 --> 00:04:18,649 I honestly can't tell what he's rooting for. Jay, I've just got to be honest 84 00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:20,350 here. This seems like a terrible plan. 85 00:04:20,589 --> 00:04:21,870 Well, it's the one to beat. 86 00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:26,710 Sam Elias Woodstone is here in demon form, and he would like to talk to Jay. 87 00:04:26,910 --> 00:04:28,630 No, Jay, Elias is here. 88 00:04:28,870 --> 00:04:29,870 Okay. 89 00:04:30,410 --> 00:04:31,810 Let's just hear what he has to say. 90 00:04:33,450 --> 00:04:34,450 Wait, wait. 91 00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:37,450 Now I'm ready. 92 00:04:38,410 --> 00:04:39,410 And a turnip cookie. 93 00:04:39,990 --> 00:04:40,990 That's genius. 94 00:04:43,130 --> 00:04:45,510 Hey, is my partner in crime? 95 00:04:46,050 --> 00:04:50,010 If kissing were a crime, which it's not, although arson is. And we did almost 96 00:04:50,010 --> 00:04:51,010 burn this place down. 97 00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:52,470 You're damn right we did. 98 00:04:53,030 --> 00:04:55,890 So, how are we planning to tell everyone about us? 99 00:04:56,250 --> 00:05:00,530 Oh, I'd like to maximize jealousy. And ideally, it should involve me. Hanging. 100 00:05:01,930 --> 00:05:05,170 Well, I mean, I know it's not the same, but when Carol and I got engaged, we 101 00:05:05,170 --> 00:05:06,430 announced it in the Kiwanis newsletter. 102 00:05:07,050 --> 00:05:10,630 There'd been a float collision at the Rhubarb Days Parade, so most of the 103 00:05:10,630 --> 00:05:11,990 announcements were pretty somber. 104 00:05:12,350 --> 00:05:15,390 Oh, well, maybe we should just go downstairs and tell everyone the good 105 00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:16,750 We could. 106 00:05:17,070 --> 00:05:20,890 Although... Is it a little insensitive to put our happiness on display with all 107 00:05:20,890 --> 00:05:22,050 Sam and Jay are going through? 108 00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:25,270 That's partly based on some feedback I got after the rhubarb tragedy. 109 00:05:25,630 --> 00:05:30,690 Sure, I get that. It's just, as far as everyone in the house is concerned, I 110 00:05:30,690 --> 00:05:34,370 profess my love to you in front of everyone, and then you immediately fled 111 00:05:34,370 --> 00:05:37,030 property. Oh, boy. Yeah, I didn't think about it that way. 112 00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:41,050 Although, I mean, with all this Jay stuff going on, I doubt that's on 113 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:43,440 radar. Yeah, I guess you're right. 114 00:05:43,820 --> 00:05:45,700 Leave the man alone, Alberta. 115 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,460 He's not interested. 116 00:05:48,940 --> 00:05:53,780 I filled her in on the whole day of humiliation thing. We're friends now. We 117 00:05:53,780 --> 00:06:00,220 walk. Well, Carol, if you must know, I can't take a hand. 118 00:06:00,740 --> 00:06:02,020 Can't blame a girl for trying. 119 00:06:02,340 --> 00:06:04,420 Is there anyone for her in the basement? 120 00:06:05,660 --> 00:06:09,520 Creepy Dirk is newly single, but he's pretty picky. 121 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:10,980 I'll do a temp check. 122 00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:19,960 I'm here to talk about the timeline of your death. Wait, what is that? 123 00:06:20,660 --> 00:06:24,180 It's an air fryer. I'm looking for healthier ways to eat chicken nuggets. 124 00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:29,260 Ah, at last we come face to face, Hellspawn. 125 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:31,740 Who is this little freak? 126 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:36,680 Patience just came in and is confronting Elias. Seriously? I knew I was right 127 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,260 when I sensed the devil's presence in this house. 128 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:43,200 And now, it is my destiny to smite thee. 129 00:06:43,420 --> 00:06:45,120 Oh, damn. It's about to go down. 130 00:06:45,380 --> 00:06:47,060 She said she's going to smite him, Jay. 131 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:48,920 Say goodbye, demon. 132 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:53,880 What's happening? 133 00:06:54,020 --> 00:06:55,920 Is she shooting lasers out of her eyes? 134 00:06:56,420 --> 00:06:57,420 Are there flames? 135 00:06:58,180 --> 00:06:59,180 Not exactly. 136 00:06:59,540 --> 00:07:01,400 Smite! Smite! Smite! 137 00:07:01,980 --> 00:07:03,700 Smite! Smite! 138 00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:07,720 Smite! Is this your whole plan? 139 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:12,480 Just to yell smite. I mean, it does leave one wanting. Patience, have you 140 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:13,339 done this before? 141 00:07:13,340 --> 00:07:17,780 Well, not exactly, but I just assumed on account of my holiness and his 142 00:07:17,780 --> 00:07:23,000 wickedness. Patience, no need to feel ashamed. Very ambidextrous effort. 143 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:24,300 It didn't work, Jay. 144 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:25,800 Damn it. 145 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:29,900 I mean, yay, my publicist is saved. 146 00:07:30,340 --> 00:07:31,760 That doesn't make any sense. 147 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:33,960 Patience! Patience! 148 00:07:34,340 --> 00:07:36,160 Now, where were we? Ah, yes. 149 00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,250 I am not here to kill you. 150 00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:40,530 Okay. Could be trick. 151 00:07:40,750 --> 00:07:43,990 I often tell Dane, not going to kill you. But then I do kill. 152 00:07:44,470 --> 00:07:49,170 Very funny. I realized it was unsporting of me to take your soul before I made 153 00:07:49,170 --> 00:07:51,950 good on my end of the bargain. I mean, you made a deal with the devil. You 154 00:07:51,950 --> 00:07:53,250 should get something in return. 155 00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:58,290 So, in exchange for Jay's soul, I promise to take him to new heights of 156 00:07:58,350 --> 00:08:00,990 To put him and his restaurant on the map. 157 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:03,800 So how long exactly do I have left to live? 158 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:08,020 Gosh, I mean, a rise from obscurity to the top of the culinary heap could take 159 00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:11,200 decades. Decades? Okay, I can work with decades. 160 00:08:11,540 --> 00:08:16,480 No, I was saying it could take decades if I were a less incredible publicist. 161 00:08:16,540 --> 00:08:19,320 But I pulled some strings and worked my connections. 162 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,420 I secured you an appearance on... 163 00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:26,870 Good Hang with Amy Poehler. Oh, that's actually a really big podcast. 164 00:08:27,190 --> 00:08:28,590 Yeah. So what does this mean? 165 00:08:28,830 --> 00:08:33,110 It means that I fulfilled my end of the deal. Oh, one more thing. It tapes 166 00:08:33,110 --> 00:08:35,030 tomorrow, after which you die. 167 00:08:35,350 --> 00:08:41,350 So make it a good hang, for it shall be your last hang. 168 00:08:43,210 --> 00:08:48,610 I can't believe you married this guy, Annie. I had two cousins to choose from, 169 00:08:48,830 --> 00:08:50,610 and the other one had weird teeth. 170 00:08:54,610 --> 00:08:56,830 Big old bag of corp. This is bad. 171 00:08:57,170 --> 00:09:01,170 We gotta come up with a plan to save Jay's life. And three clever anecdotes 172 00:09:01,170 --> 00:09:02,470 Jay to talk about on the podcast. 173 00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:06,170 We've all heard the pasta story. That's not gonna cut it. Okay, here's what I'm 174 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:11,170 thinking. I fill a Ziploc bag full of water, put it in the ghost trap, and now 175 00:09:11,170 --> 00:09:12,690 little Jay has a waterbed. 176 00:09:12,910 --> 00:09:13,749 Wait a minute. 177 00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:14,750 The ghost trap. 178 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,640 Yes, sweetie, that's what it's called. 179 00:09:17,060 --> 00:09:21,600 No, I'm saying, what if we trick Elias into going inside it and hold him 180 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:25,880 until he lets Jay out of the deal? It's like what the cult did to get that radio 181 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,000 DJ to read Bruce's manifesto on air. 182 00:09:28,340 --> 00:09:30,540 A good idea undermined by a disturbing example. 183 00:09:30,860 --> 00:09:33,980 The ghosts are saying we should try to trap Elias in the ghost trap. 184 00:09:34,820 --> 00:09:39,320 Interesting. Either he lets me out of the deal or we use the evisceration 185 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:40,860 function to destroy him. 186 00:09:41,130 --> 00:09:44,450 But we can't trap a demon in a ghost trap. We need to get him back to ghost 187 00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:46,550 form. Right. How are we going to do that? 188 00:09:46,830 --> 00:09:50,710 Jay, the good hang folks want to know what you'd like for lunch in the green 189 00:09:50,710 --> 00:09:51,709 room tomorrow. 190 00:09:51,710 --> 00:09:52,710 I don't know. 191 00:09:52,770 --> 00:09:55,930 Big deal double sonic smasher, I guess. You're a chef, man. 192 00:09:56,210 --> 00:09:58,610 What if I just refuse to go to the podcast? 193 00:09:59,010 --> 00:10:00,650 Is that some kind of loophole? 194 00:10:00,890 --> 00:10:04,970 Sadly, it's not. And honestly, it's just rude to pull her. Who is Lovely? 195 00:10:05,670 --> 00:10:09,050 Speaking of Lovely, nice to see you again, Alberta. 196 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,760 Well, that must feel like a nice shot in the arm after the brutal public 197 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:16,880 rejection from Peter. 198 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:18,560 I still think you're a super lady. 199 00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:22,140 Hey, Elias seems like he's really into Alberta. 200 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,320 Maybe we could use that to lure him into ghost form. 201 00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:25,239 What do you mean? 202 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,480 I'm just saying, if Elias were made to think he's got a shot with Bertie here, 203 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,540 he'd have to turn into a ghost to make a move. 204 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,780 You're suggesting a classic Hoboken honeypot. 205 00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:36,660 And before anything happens, we make him come into contact with the ghost trap, 206 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,160 and boom, in he goes. 207 00:10:38,380 --> 00:10:41,180 Sounds exciting. I'm in. Oh, Bertie's about to get flirty. 208 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:45,160 The ghosts are suggesting we have Alberta hit on Elias to get him back 209 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,119 ghost form. 210 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:49,760 Interesting. And her confidence isn't shot from that whole Pete debacle. 211 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:50,760 it. Send his man to hell. 212 00:10:51,260 --> 00:10:54,440 She can do it, Jay. I certainly believe in her. Shut up, Pete. 213 00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:58,720 Well, I come to bid thee farewell. 214 00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:03,940 Following my failed smiting, I am returning to the dirt where I shall live 215 00:11:03,940 --> 00:11:05,600 eternity in shame. 216 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,260 Okay, bye. I'm seeing you. 217 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:09,560 Wait, wait, patience. 218 00:11:10,540 --> 00:11:11,540 Are you okay? 219 00:11:11,980 --> 00:11:12,980 I don't know. 220 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:18,160 For centuries, I've wondered why God hath abandoned me to this purgatory. 221 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:21,500 And then Elias came, and it all made sense. 222 00:11:22,060 --> 00:11:24,760 I was kept here to defeat the devil. 223 00:11:25,260 --> 00:11:28,840 I think I'm here to entertain others with my stories. 224 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,820 I've ever told you about the time I found a weird apple? 225 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:33,770 It just does. It would make no sense. 226 00:11:34,050 --> 00:11:39,210 A good and pure soul should be able to vanquish evil. Well, maybe, and don't 227 00:11:39,210 --> 00:11:44,130 take it the wrong way, it's possible that your soul isn't so pure. 228 00:11:45,590 --> 00:11:47,010 Patience? It's true. 229 00:11:47,370 --> 00:11:54,150 Patience spent much time saying others bad, but not much time doing good. 230 00:11:55,090 --> 00:12:00,490 Oh, so you're saying patience talketh the talk, but don't walketh the walk. 231 00:12:00,890 --> 00:12:01,890 Yes, it. 232 00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:05,070 Patience know what she need do. 233 00:12:06,430 --> 00:12:07,430 Patience. 234 00:12:10,650 --> 00:12:12,370 Now back to the Apple story. 235 00:12:12,730 --> 00:12:15,730 It was a red, but it was a weird red. 236 00:12:16,530 --> 00:12:19,890 No, he doesn't want something better. He wants Sonic. 237 00:12:21,570 --> 00:12:24,830 A man who goes after what he wants. 238 00:12:25,350 --> 00:12:28,510 I wonder if there's anything else he has his eyes on. 239 00:12:28,930 --> 00:12:29,930 Excuse me? 240 00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:31,750 It's just... 241 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:34,600 We don't get a lot of handsome strangers around here. 242 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:37,040 I'm sorry. 243 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:39,440 Is it hot in here? 244 00:12:40,180 --> 00:12:43,980 I'm not the best judge. My condo is in the fiery pits of hell. 245 00:12:44,260 --> 00:12:45,960 Ooh, a homeowner. 246 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,400 That's right. 247 00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:52,980 When you're a demon, I can't touch you. 248 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,580 Oh, there's an easy fix for that. 249 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,080 Hello. 250 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:01,400 Oh, my. 251 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,000 So you in ghost form now? 252 00:13:04,460 --> 00:13:08,060 Indeed. I believe you were about to touch something. 253 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:10,720 No, you're about to touch something. 254 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,000 You did, Jay. 255 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:21,420 What's going on? You're in a ghost trap, Elias. And I just hit the evisceration 256 00:13:21,420 --> 00:13:25,260 button. You have five minutes to release me from our deal or you're toast. 257 00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:28,740 Now I'm going to wait for you to say something and have Sam tell me what you 258 00:13:28,740 --> 00:13:31,040 said. Why is everyone screaming? 259 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:32,960 Who is that? 260 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:35,240 Who are you? 261 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:36,599 Oh, no. 262 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,100 Uh, Jay, I think we have a problem. 263 00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:41,460 It seems as if Carol is also in the ghost trap. 264 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:42,880 Oh, crap. 265 00:13:45,140 --> 00:13:47,180 Carol, what are you doing in there? 266 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,120 Well, I was in the kitchen sniffing baked goods. 267 00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:53,300 And Jay walked in with this strange little box. 268 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,200 I tried to poke my head in to see what was inside. 269 00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:59,960 Next thing you know, I'm in this weird little room. 270 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:04,140 Carol, I was holding the ghost trap for the last 20 minutes. Why didn't you yell 271 00:14:04,140 --> 00:14:04,839 for help? 272 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:05,900 I must have fallen asleep. 273 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:09,120 There's this really comfortable chair in here. 274 00:14:09,620 --> 00:14:13,460 Bark -a -lounger. Great. She would have been rescued, but she fell asleep in 275 00:14:13,460 --> 00:14:14,279 your doll chair. 276 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,540 So I would have been comfortable. 277 00:14:16,270 --> 00:14:20,270 This is rich. You thought you had me. Threatening to eviscerate me unless I 278 00:14:20,270 --> 00:14:21,270 release Jay's soul? 279 00:14:21,450 --> 00:14:25,550 But you can't destroy me unless you destroy your precious Carol. 280 00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:26,970 I don't know about precious. 281 00:14:27,230 --> 00:14:31,010 It's three minutes until evisceration. Can we stop the clock? Maybe we can just 282 00:14:31,010 --> 00:14:34,730 hold them hostage for a while. The only way to stop the countdown is to let them 283 00:14:34,730 --> 00:14:40,950 out. Or let them both, you know, poof. Hedy. I am just talking it out. I mean, 284 00:14:40,950 --> 00:14:42,550 it would save Jay. 285 00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:44,150 And it's Elias. 286 00:14:45,070 --> 00:14:48,750 Carol, if we had to choose two ghosts to be eviscerated, would we be anywhere 287 00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:52,470 different right now? Really? All right, so Carol's not quite the bargaining chip 288 00:14:52,470 --> 00:14:56,050 I thought I'd lucked into, but we all know you don't have it in you to 289 00:14:56,050 --> 00:14:57,670 eviscerate an innocent ghost. 290 00:14:58,270 --> 00:15:02,270 Innocent is strong. She cuckolded Pete for years with his best friend. And then 291 00:15:02,270 --> 00:15:05,590 she lied to him about his entire career, leaving him to believe he was a 292 00:15:05,590 --> 00:15:08,990 legitimate travel agent when he was actually an unwitting front for the mob. 293 00:15:09,210 --> 00:15:10,570 Some of those trips were real. 294 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,730 Although some, in retrospect, appear to have been assassinations. 295 00:15:13,950 --> 00:15:16,550 You can also just kind of tell she voted for Nixon. 296 00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:20,090 When you put it all together, she was kind of a bad person. 297 00:15:20,390 --> 00:15:23,850 Jay, the ghosts are sort of implying that maybe it's okay if we sacrifice 298 00:15:24,370 --> 00:15:25,370 Not all the good. 299 00:15:26,090 --> 00:15:31,930 Look, I know Carol is far from perfect, but deep down, way, way down, I know 300 00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:32,930 there's good inside her. 301 00:15:34,950 --> 00:15:38,650 I don't want to go to hell, but I signed that deal. 302 00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:41,380 I can't do that to somebody else. 303 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,220 Even Carol. 304 00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:50,060 You tricked me, Jay. 305 00:15:51,340 --> 00:15:52,340 Not cool. 306 00:15:54,180 --> 00:15:56,080 He went back down. 307 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,700 Okay, so maybe the danger's past? 308 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,300 Yes, I'm sure that did. 309 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:05,100 Whoa! Jay's life ends now. 310 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,300 Elias, please, just... Silence! 311 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:10,440 Oh, my God! 312 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:11,880 He's got the Force! 313 00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:15,140 Oh, my God, was that the Force? Not important right now, but did Pete say 314 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,600 something about the Force? Yes, Jay. 315 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:17,880 My man. 316 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:19,360 Look out! 317 00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:30,200 Is Jay making light favors now? It helps him focus. He's practiced this in the 318 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,200 mirror. You're ready, Jay! 319 00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:32,440 You've got this! 320 00:16:34,430 --> 00:16:38,930 Your soul will soon be mine, Jay, and with it, my promotion from vice 321 00:16:38,930 --> 00:16:42,490 to senior vice president with shared assistant. 322 00:16:43,790 --> 00:16:47,770 Just stop, Elias! Say goodbye, Samantha. 323 00:16:48,290 --> 00:16:49,290 Wait! 324 00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:55,250 Would you accept another soul in his stead? 325 00:16:56,190 --> 00:16:58,470 What happened, babe? Why have you stopped trying to kill me? 326 00:16:58,690 --> 00:17:01,870 I think Patience is volunteering to take your spot. 327 00:17:02,490 --> 00:17:06,369 No way. It's about time patience walketh the walk. 328 00:17:06,569 --> 00:17:08,069 Cool. Let's make it official. 329 00:17:10,190 --> 00:17:11,190 Oh, wow. 330 00:17:11,670 --> 00:17:13,510 Wow, you can really feel the heat. 331 00:17:14,150 --> 00:17:17,970 Um, it's pretty close to patience. 332 00:17:18,790 --> 00:17:19,790 I'm so touched. 333 00:17:21,849 --> 00:17:22,849 Yeah, I'm out. 334 00:17:23,030 --> 00:17:24,970 This is just beyond generous of you. 335 00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:28,069 Seriously, I don't know how I'm ever going to reach you. Jay, she bailed. 336 00:17:28,069 --> 00:17:30,070 it, that feral little dirtball. 337 00:17:30,390 --> 00:17:31,390 All right, Jay. 338 00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:32,900 Time to die. 339 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:36,960 I'm scared, Sam. 340 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,080 I'm sorry I signed that contract. 341 00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:43,680 I give you my blessing to remarry after a respectful seven years, as long as 342 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:44,680 it's not to Kyle. 343 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:45,800 I hate Kyle. 344 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:47,520 I love you, Sam. 345 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,160 I love you, Jay. 346 00:17:49,740 --> 00:17:50,860 Not as much as I do. 347 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:53,060 Elias, take me instead. 348 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:54,239 Pete, no! 349 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,240 Peter! 350 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,400 Jay's my best friend. He's got his whole life to live. 351 00:17:58,400 --> 00:17:59,400 Works for me. 352 00:18:05,900 --> 00:18:08,980 Carol, what did you just do? Something I should have done a long time ago. 353 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:10,860 Done right by you. 354 00:18:11,420 --> 00:18:14,900 Carol just sacrificed herself to save Pete, who also stepped up. 355 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:16,200 Oh, my God. 356 00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:20,140 All right, I haven't had one since high school, but I need a cigarette. 357 00:18:20,380 --> 00:18:21,620 Carol, you didn't have to do this. 358 00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:23,480 You weren't a bad person. 359 00:18:24,340 --> 00:18:26,340 We were just different. 360 00:18:26,620 --> 00:18:28,420 Like donuts and donut holes. 361 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:30,560 How do you mean? 362 00:18:30,730 --> 00:18:32,310 You know, because they come from different machines. 363 00:18:32,730 --> 00:18:34,110 But it's all donut material. 364 00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:35,470 No, I don't think so. 365 00:18:37,470 --> 00:18:39,090 Okay, time to go. 366 00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:40,770 Ta -ta. 367 00:18:42,810 --> 00:18:44,550 Jay, you are officially free. 368 00:18:45,630 --> 00:18:46,870 I was going to do it. 369 00:18:47,470 --> 00:18:49,870 Some could say I sort of got the ball rolling. 370 00:18:51,110 --> 00:18:53,630 Oh, this is new. 371 00:18:54,490 --> 00:18:56,030 No, no, no, no. 372 00:18:56,290 --> 00:18:57,290 What's happening? 373 00:18:57,450 --> 00:18:59,950 She was going down, but now she's getting sucked off. 374 00:19:00,210 --> 00:19:01,650 This is incredible. 375 00:19:02,530 --> 00:19:03,530 Bye, Pete. 376 00:19:03,890 --> 00:19:05,090 Bye, everyone. 377 00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:08,790 Tell Baxter I'll wait for him. 378 00:19:09,310 --> 00:19:10,310 Yeah, right. 379 00:19:10,470 --> 00:19:11,490 Thank you, Carol. 380 00:19:14,270 --> 00:19:18,050 Her sacrifice must have been enough to cancel out going down. 381 00:19:18,370 --> 00:19:21,110 Amazing. Wow, this must suck for you. 382 00:19:21,430 --> 00:19:23,070 You were so close. 383 00:19:26,379 --> 00:19:28,180 Pigeons. New recliner. 384 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:29,700 I love it. 385 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:34,380 This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. Multiple ghosts just 386 00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:36,060 to go to hell for you, sir. 387 00:19:36,340 --> 00:19:38,740 Well, you had a tough week. I thought you deserved some relaxation. 388 00:19:39,540 --> 00:19:41,140 I'm so glad I didn't lose you. 389 00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:44,940 I'm glad Jay didn't go to hell, but I'll miss Isaac. 390 00:19:45,340 --> 00:19:46,340 I'm right here. 391 00:19:46,860 --> 00:19:50,120 Okay, well, if you're Isaac, then who's Doug? 392 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:51,520 There is no Doug. 393 00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:53,360 We lost Doug? 394 00:19:54,090 --> 00:19:55,310 No! Dad! 395 00:19:56,470 --> 00:19:57,470 All right. 396 00:19:57,770 --> 00:19:59,170 Everyone, we have an announcement. 397 00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:03,990 Now that the danger has passed, we'd like to let you all know that Pete and I 398 00:20:03,990 --> 00:20:05,330 finally mooched last week. 399 00:20:05,590 --> 00:20:08,110 Oh, sick. 400 00:20:08,450 --> 00:20:10,510 It's just like the doll version. 401 00:20:10,730 --> 00:20:11,479 That is amazing. 402 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:12,620 It is amazing. 403 00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:14,620 No, I'm talking to Pete in Alberta. 404 00:20:15,020 --> 00:20:18,360 Apparently, they kissed last week. Well, let me get this straight. You kissed 405 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:22,080 Peter, and then he immediately volunteered to go to hell? No, that's 406 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,960 The two are unconnected. 407 00:20:25,220 --> 00:20:26,380 I don't like this narrative. 408 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:29,940 Oh, real big life is fixing to be. 409 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:31,440 OK.